Posted on December 3, 2008 - by Curvball

Christmas message from John Robb

‘Christmas is coming and the businessmen are getting fat, please put all your money in their big fat hats’ goes ye olde traditional Xmas song.
But not this year!
They are getting a credit crunch in their stockings!
Strange event Christmas, it’s the fake pretend holy time of the year when people make believe it’s a religious festival and the birthplace of likkle baby Jesus when infact it’s a bacchanalian orgy of self indulgent booze and drug driven madness as the high street stores get all excited about guilt tripping you into buying their shoddy shite, The credit crunch may have them very nervous. Very nervous- but this is one opportunity to squeeze your last few well earneds out of your pockets—
Unless the truth hits home to most people that they really don’t need to buy yet another 400 quid shirt to wear out once on a Saturday night and spew all over it and that flat in the city centre is it really worth 400 grand! That’s about a tenner for each brick- expensive business this living! And this Christmas there will be a few home truths coming thick and fast.
The first of which is Woolworth’s going bust  which is being treated like a national disaster like Woolworths was some kind of national institution when infact it was actually an American chain of shops that sold the sort of stuff that no –one has bought for years, I don’t think I’ve been in a Woollies for thirty years, the last time I went in was to look at this board they had for the charts behind the record counter to look at the blank space in the charts for the Sex Pistols ‘God Save The Queen’ and then ask as the counter for that special record and laugh when they got the security to chase us out of the shop, after that they did those endless TV ads with long forgotten TV presenters with too clean grinning teeth at xmas urging you to buy their shoddy goods…that’s Christmas all over for you- buying shoddy shite for people you don’t know to so that they can throw it in the bin!
The bit of Christmas that’s the most traditional- and that’s not xmas trees and xmas cards which were made up by the Victorians and its not father Christmas in his red and white outfit which was either coca cola insisting on it so it tied in with their horrible sugary drink or the fact that its an ancient story told about reindeer eating the fly alagaric mushrooms and the natives drinking their furry piss to trip (fly alagaric was red and white mushroom) and going berserk on the mid winter solstice party…Naaaah! the bit that is traditional at Christmas is the Dec 21st  party- the winter solstice- the celebration of the end of the winter and the phew we survived that horrible bit and the days will now start getting longer and we may not run out of food bit!!!!  It ws the rebirth and it was hijacked by the Christians because they couldn’t stop the pagans from partying and they still can’t- look at the tut-tuting at all the sick on the streets at Christmas/new year as the office parties hit the streets and the amateur night outs infest the town for their one big binge of the year…the sort of dorks who usually stay in are running amok in town and feeling tipsy on two lagers and getting their grubby little mits into the secretaries damp G strings in the back room of too noisy bars playing the worst dance music far too loud drowning out her thrilled drunken sigh.
There’s only one thing worth doing this Christmas and its partying on a punk rock tip because on December 13th at the Forum Rebellion comes to London town for its Christmas binge. (http://www.rebellionfestivals.com/)
Moving its base from the world capital of punk Blackpool to some little known town in the south called London Rebellion will be raising the flag for all things noisy and celebratory at the Forum on December 13th, headline by the Dammed the vent is an all dayer with appearances from UK Subs,  TV Smith, Penetration, 999 and a whole bunch of others as well as Goldblade and The Rabble- it opens at one in the afternoon so its best to get there early there are no weak spots on the bill and it’s the last great punk rock social before Christmas.
I’ve already had my endless party that was in November touring with the Rabble, The autumn tour of Goldblade and the Rabble is dusted and down and ended and it was a great experience. Te Rabble have got to be one of the best new punk bands on the planet right now, they got the tunes, the commitment and the sheer force of energy to make something happen for them and they are a great team as well, it was a real pleasure touring with them, there is talk of doing the same thing in Australia and new Zealand in 2009.
Oddly the best night of the tour was playing with rancid in Manchester, Ran cid are still the kings of the punk rock scene who have an extended family that stretches worldwide, on this tour they handpicked all the support band sand paid them ten times more that you would normally get for support slot- these were their favourite UK punk bands with the likes of the great Argy Bargy and GBH getting the chance for some big stage action, rancid also hand picked the opening acts giving young bands the opening slot and paying them well over the odds in an act of punk rock altruism that has to be applauded, Rancid were on top form burning the stage up- their new album is being readied and  you know its going to be th best punk statement of 2009.
The only downside its that the top punk band in the world is American- I keep banging on about it but the UK punk scene is equally strong its just hard to get the attention for the bands so as a special Christmas task I urge you to check the following myspace sites out for Outl4w, Sonic Boom Six, Strawberry Blondes and a whole heap of others and follow all the links and make friends- there is some much good music on this side of the pond- and we did invent it afterall!